I’m certain he would have loved to see the frightening rubble and swelling of the sky on the night he passed away. He’d have cried and turned and smiled if only he could have seen the book thief on her hands and knees, next to his decimated body. He’d have been glad to witness her kissing his dusty, bomb-hit lips.
wereadtoliveathousandlives: Okay so, I've been having this melt down about the song "Miserable at Best" by Mayday Parade and the fact that it just hit me as a hard-core season 3 Olicity song and I would love for someone to do something with that - a fic or something - because I just don't have the time (or talent) to do so myself. And I keep trying to throw it out into the universe, but not much comes from the universe.
Oh no! Why did you make me listen to that?! Now I have sad Olicity feels. ;(
(I suggest you all to listen to the song while reading this fic)
Here goes the heartbreak…
He wanted to tell her today.
More than ever, Oliver wanted to tell Felicity that the “I love you” was real. That it was the realist thing to ever leave his lips in a long time. He wanted to scale the tallest building in Starling city, whip off his Arrow mask, and shout it out for the world to hear.
He really needed her.
He realized it when some punk robber got a little too stab happy and got him below the ribs. He realized it when his movements seemed way too sluggish and his eyes felt heavier than rocks. He felt it in his broken chest as he slept on Roy’s lumpy couch; memories of a large mansion bursting with family and love, haunting him.
Oliver Queen needed Felicity Smoak because she was like a balm for the cracks in his heart. Her bright smile and rapid babbling made him forget, for just a moment, that he had many burdens to bear. When they were down in the new layer, going over clues and searching out a new thug, he often found himself just taking her all in. In those moments he could smile and it didn’t seem forced.
It was natural.
Everything was natural with her.
He’d been calling her name for a while now, a concerned look on his face. Oliver was used to the way Felicity’s mind tended to wander, but rarely did it ever happen during important work. He’d been working out right behind her and asked her a question about their mission. When she didn’t respond and continued to twirl her ponytail around one finger, Oliver stepped off the mats and called her name.
But Felicity Smoak wasn’t in the here and now. She was in lala land.
“Huh? YES!” the startled blonde yelled back, jumping in her computer chair. She turned to face Oliver and the shimmering blue of her eyes nearly took his breath away.
“What—Why didn’t you answer me when I was calling you?”
Felicity looked off to the side and tilted her head a bit, thinking. “I’m sorry I guess my mind was kind of… preoccupied. You know me, it gets pretty crowded up there sometimes.” She laughed nervously and turned back to her computer screen.
Oliver wasn’t about to let her off that easily.
“What were you thinking about?” he inquired, crossing his arms.
Felicity’s shoulders visibly tensed as she slowly turned back around. Her face was scrunched up in an adorable, self-conscience way. “N-Nothing! Nothing important just… stupid stuff. Yeah, that’s it. Just really stupid stuff. Nothing you should worry about so… go do your thing and I’ll just sit over here… on my computer… typing away…”
Oliver raised a single brow.
“I’ll stop talking now.”
“Felicity,” he sighed, taking a step forward. “You know you can talk to me if something’s bothering you, right?”
For a second the blonde IT girl just stared at him, looking stunned that he would say something like that to her. But then she was nodding and fiddling with her hands in her lap. “Oh! Yeah! Sure! It’s nothing serious, I promise. It’s…”
Oliver was an immovable, patient rock. Felicity sighed when she realized he wasn’t going anywhere.
“You know the guy who bought out Queen Consolidated after everything went… bad?”
Oliver nodded, wondering where all of this was going.
“And you know how I was able to keep my job and I’m kind of… sort of… working for him now?”
He nodded again.
“Well… Ray and I… we kind of…”
Wait. Since when did she refer to her boss as Ray?
Oliver thought he knew his body well. He’d survived with it, fought with it and lived with it his entire life. He knew that his knee still acted up whenever he did something really strenuous, and he knew that he still got phantom aches from his numerous scars.
So he was surprised when his body betrayed him and smiled down at her, the corners of his mouth lifting.
“Oh,” he said aloud, his own voice echoing loudly in his ears. “Okay. I’m happy for you.”
Felicity blinked, blue eyes wide and round. “You—You are?”
“Yes.” Oliver nodded and turned, walking towards his shirt and shrugging it on. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I—I don’t know.” The blonde sounded flustered. “You never liked Barry so I assumed—“
“Hey, I think I’m going to call it a night. Don’t forget to lock up, ok?”
He could feel her eyes on his back as he headed for the stairs. “Oliver—“
He didn’t go straight to Roy’s house.
Oliver kind of wandered and he didn’t know exactly where he was going. He felt like a gaping hole had carved its way through his chest. He was miserable but for some reason he kept smiling when someone passed him on the street and recognized him. When had this mask become so easy to slip on and off? And… where was his bike?
Oh… that’s right… I left it. I wasn’t thinking and I…
He stopped walking completely and made a split second decision to head to the nearby park. He needed to clear his head. He needed to stop seeing her smiling face for just one second because he swore to God it was—
“Please watch where you’re going,” a woman snapped, jolting Oliver out of his spiraling thoughts.
He looked up to realize he had nearly crashed into her and her baby’s stroller.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. Excuse me.”
The women eyed him up and down, scoffing. “Of course Oliver Queen nearly runs me over in the park. Of course!” And then she pushed past him and continued on her way, but the former billionaire hadn’t even heard her.
He was too busy remembering a certain twinkle in a young blonde’s eye.
Does she love him?
He can’t get the image of the dark-haired CEO kissing his—kissing her on the mouth. He can’t push away flashing images of their tangled limbs. His hands clench into fists when he imagines Felicity leaning on the desk that used to be his own, handing coffee to a guy that wasn’t him. Laughing with a guy that wasn’t him.
But… Does she love him?
He was miserable. His body ached too much these days and now his heart as well. Oliver found a nearby bench and sat, consuming himself with regret.
I should have told her. I should have said it was real from the very beginning. When… when was the beginning anyway? After The Count? Or maybe it was before that… Could it have been the first time I saw her face?
When he closed his eyes he felt the hug they shared just last week. It was after he’d been stabbed and all patched up. She attacked him, with no remorse for his wound. Her arms were a vice like grip around his neck and even though it hurt he felt his heart swell with something.
He knew now that it was love.
“I thought you were going to bleed to death!”
“It was just a knick, Felicity.”
“I’ve been through worse.”
She pulled away from him and stared into his bright blue eyes, her arms still around his shoulders.
“The next time I tell you not to go down a dark alleyway, please listen to me.”
Oliver smiled softly, his hands rubbing up and down her arms. “Ok. I promise.”
Something flashed in Felicity’s eyes, but then she was pulling away and clearing her throat. “Back to work…”
Oliver opened his eyes and stared up at the night sky.
She loves him… doesn’t she?
He was miserable. Miserable at best.
Wow so this turned out really sad T___T I hope you liked it wereadtoliveathousandlives! I really liked this prompt and the song, although it was depressing, lol.
(i’m still taking prompts!)
Awww yay! (Sorry I churned out a totally angst prompt but it just seemed to fit so well). That was great! Thank you for writing it!
Anonymous: Although I agree with you about the song by Mayday Parade being perfect for Olicity especially around the date stuff. I love 'Superheroes' by The Script more...you should definitely check it out :)
Thank you, friend!
I agree. That song is very…encapsulating of their relationship in the partnership sense, you know? It’s about their fight against corruption and evil, about the power each of them possesses and its importance when they are together. It’s less romantic, and I think that is perfectly fine. In fact, it’s great. Because the majority of Oliver and Felicity’s relationship, up to this point, has been non-romantic. And to be honest, as much as I hope for a romantic plot that flourishes, I do hope that their partnership remains a central part of the Olicity dynamic, that the team stays at the heart of it all. So, in that respect, “Superheroes” is essential. “Miserable at Best” is all about a romance, or lack thereof, so it touches on very different things.
Both are awesome! I would definitely include both on an Olicity mix (not that I’m planning one or anything so if anyone else is….).